I hate depression. I hate that I can be having a good day, or even a good week, and then *BAM* – I run into a wall. My wife told me a few days ago that when I’m depressed, I’m “predictably unpredictable.” That’s the same thing I say about my depression. AND THEN, SUDDENLY… I was just listening to a song by Halsey called Alone. I don’t know the words, I just like the music. But that’s how I feel…
My wife and I were watching The Fosters (great show) recently, and one of the characters said something that really struck me: “I think you’re just afraid of being anything other than the poor girl with the sad story.” Isn’t that interesting? There have been times over the years that I’ve thought, “This is who I am. This is what I am – depressed, lonely, and stuck.” But what and who would I be if I was suddenly not depressed…
I have a beef with the insurance industry. According to the Social Security Administration, I’ve been disabled due to my Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) since August 29, 2005. (Yes, I know – that’s a long fucking time.) For those of you not in-the-know, after two years of being on Social Security Disability (aka SSDI, which is NOT the same as SSI), you get to sign up for Medicare (unless you’re covered by a spouse’s policy). You may or may not…
“One day at a time.” Even if you don’t attend a 12-step group, I bet you’ve heard that saying plenty of times. And it’s true. If you think about it, tomorrow never comes. In the world of physics, it’s impossible. It is always today. “Tomorrow” is really just a concept. Every morning you wake up, it’s today, right? You can’t wake up and it’s somehow yesterday (unless you’re Bill Murray in the classic movie Groundhog Day). It’s always today. So…
I hope my last post didn’t scare you away from taking action. That was certainly not my intention! In all honesty, admitting myself to the psych unit has saved my life at least a few times. And they’ve all kept me safe. Part I of this series was just a (very) general overview of the state of psychiatric units. It was meant to be educational, not scary. Yet, I can’t help but feel like I may have gotten a little on…
