Photo credit: Towfiqu Barbhuiya on Unsplash.com

 

Happy 2023!!

The last three years have lasted what seems like a decade, but if we can survive the surrealism of the Covid-19 pandemic, this year should be a breeze.

Right?

I hope you had a nice time over the holidays and that you got to spend time with the people who mean the most to you.

If you struggle to take your meds, this post is for you.

MEDS CAN HELP – IF YOU TAKE THEM RIGHT

There are certain things we need to do to feel better, to feel stable. My list of things is made up of clear and understandable items. “Take meds every day” is a crucial one.

It’s important to take all of your meds as prescribed, not just your psych meds. As I have terrible problems with my memory (thanks to ECT seventeen years ago), taking my meds is not the first thing on my mind when I wake up. And I’m usually so tired at bedtime that sometimes I forget to take them.

Forgetting to take your meds is not good. Psych meds, especially, have to be taken on a very regular basis so the medication can build up in your system and stabilize you. I know if I forget just one dose of my morning Cymbalta, I get the “whooshes” within twenty-four hours. And I’ve been taking it for at least a dozen years.

What are the whooshes? It’s hard to define. It’s like a momentary whoosh of extreme dizziness and disorientation. It’s usually over quickly, but it seems to go in slow motion at the same time. I don’t know. It’s very disconcerting, especially if you’re driving or skiing or painting the lane markers on the freeway. Sometimes I’ll have three in a row, other times I’ll only have a few the whole next day. Needless to say, I don’t forget to take my Cymbalta two days in a row.

To help me take my meds regularly, I put them in a pill box so I don’t have to expend any mental energy thinking about which ones I need to take. (I have a small box full of medication bottles – two for high cholesterol, one to help me sleep, one that fights my fatigue, and three psych meds.) It’s hard to think so early in the morning. So, I just take whatever meds are in the box for that morning (or night) and go on with my day.

This may sound like a simple task, but taking your psych meds – or any meds – can become complicated. It’s just too easy to mindfuck yourself.

Here are some of the reasons you might think about ditching your meds:

1. You feel better, so you don’t think you need them anymore.
2. You don’t feel better, so you wonder “why bother?”
3. You want to see if they’re actually doing anything.
4. This is also a big one for me.
5. Being too sleepy to bother with them, whether it’s morning or night.
6. Being in denial (I don’t need no stinkin’ meds!)
7. “I don’t feel like it.” (I used to say that a lot.)
8. Add your favorite here.

As you can see, taking your meds can be a hard habit to get into and to keep up.

A CAUTIONARY TALE

For instance, I know that I must take my meds as prescribed. Two separate times, a long time ago, I stopped taking them. Both times, I ended up in a psych unit. It only took about a week for me to have a complete breakdown off my meds – both times.

Why would I do such a thing? Twice, no less!

Because I was feeling belligerent. Back in those days, I was pretty stubborn and didn’t always listen to my psychiatrist. In fact, he once recommended that I see someone else for treatment, as all we did was butt heads.

I was self-destructive, very depressed, angry, and couldn’t see any way out of it all. So, I took it out on him. But I got the chip off my shoulder, settled down, and started being easier to work with.

If I’m being honest, my psych meds make my life a lot better. They bring my neurotransmitters back to normal levels, which means I have less intrusive thoughts, less negativity, less of the hole in my heart, and more of a chance to be positive and let happiness in.

BUT – I don’t always feel like taking them. Sometimes, I think, “Ah, who cares?” Other times, I simply forget, probably because I don’t have a very solid morning or evening routine. At still other times, I just plain feel lazy and figure I’ll take them “later,” only “later” never comes.

Lately, I’ve gotten into the bad habit of not refilling my pill boxes as soon as they’re empty. I may wait a week or two or three before I take care of them. Needless to say, that is not good for me.

It means I have to find the right bottles amidst my meds, Lisa’s meds, and our collection of OTC meds like Excedrin or naproxen. I rarely take my morning meds right when I wake up; often, later in the day, I forget if I’ve taken them. And when I’m really tired at bedtime, it’s a pain to have to think about it. The result? Sometimes I don’t take them. (Eek!)

So, you see, even though I know I must take them, I struggle with it to some degree much of the time. And I’ve been taking (psych) meds daily since 2003!

WHAT TO DO IF YOU STRUGGLE TO TAKE YOUR MEDS

I know you don’t want to feel unstable. I know you don’t want to end up in the ER, on your way to a psych unit admission. I also know how difficult it can be to talk yourself into doing the things that make you feel better.

When you’re depressed, it takes an awful lot of mental (and physical) energy to keep yourself afloat. Taking your meds – especially if it’s a new prescription or dosage and you’re not sure it’s helping yet – is yet another thing you have to remember and commit to.

If you’re struggling with this, I have a few ideas that might help:

• Pick up a pill box (or two) and KEEP IT FILLED. As I mentioned earlier, this is my downfall. Write something like “MEDS” or “REFILL” on your calendar (yes, I’m a little old school!) as a reminder.
• Make a pro/con list. Write down every pro and every con you can think of, even if you think it’s minor or it sounds “stupid.” No one’s going to see this list but you, and it’s very important to peel the layers of your motivations and triggers. This technique can really help, especially if you are ruled by your logical mind.
• Journal about it. Journaling can be therapeutic, and it can also be practical. Write down how you feel about taking meds, why you think you avoid it, and what’s happening with your symptoms. Perhaps you’ll be able to see a pattern or figure out what thoughts lead you to not take your meds.
• Tell your pdoc (psychiatrist) and/or your primary care physician about your struggle. This is a good opportunity to ask any questions you might have about your meds. And it’s always a good idea to keep your docs in the loop. They can’t help if you’re not honest with them.
• Get an accountability buddy. Designate a close friend or loved one – or someone on your behavioral health team – as someone you can text or call after you’ve taken your meds (but make sure they know about it!). If they don’t hear from you, they can text or call you to check in with you. It only takes a simple text. You can spare 30 seconds for your mental wellness.
• Talk to a case manager. The two times I’ve had a case manager, I saw them both weekly. They would come to my apartment and we’d chat about my week, my symptoms, whatever was stressing me out, meds, and more. This is a great opportunity to keep in touch with a supportive person on a regular basis.

I hope these ideas will help you realize that you are better off with your meds than without. You can be sick and tired of it or resent having to take them – and still take them anyway.

If, at any time, you have questions about your meds/how they make you feel/your symptoms, by all means, contact your doctor. They are there to help.

IN A NUTSHELL…

1. Feeling better and feeling stable are the goals.
2. Meds are prescribed as they are to help you.
3. The “whooshes” are a little scary!
4. Pill boxes are a very handy tool – but only if you fill them!
5. There are many ways to talk yourself out of taking your meds.
6. Self-sabotage is not a good thing.
7. My psych meds are an important tool in keeping me stable and healthy (and alive).
8. Fear not – there are strategies you can use to help you stay on your meds.

As always, dear Warrior, thank you for reading. Here’s to a happier, healthier, and less stressful 2023!