I realize it’s only the beginning of February, but I gotta tell you – I’m owning 2019 so far!

As if it’s not cool enough having an article published in an online journal, this here blog was named one of the top blogs about depression by the folks at the MyTherapy app last week! (Go to their blog to read the very kind and humbling blurb they wrote about me.)

And you know what? It’s getting even better.

Way back in 2002, when I still thought I was straight and was living in California, I wrote a manuscript for a young adult (or middle grade?) novel. I even left it open at the end so I could turn it into a series.

Well, at the end of December, I signed with a small publishing house to get it out into the world. You know what that means? Yup. Come March, I’m going to be a published author!

That’s amazing to me. I could say, “I never thought it would happen to me,” but I certainly hoped it would. I’ve known I have good writing chops for a long time. But I had given up on trying to get that book published long ago. Then, voila! I hop on Twitter, and the next thing I know, I’ve got a book deal!

ABOUT THE BOOK 🙂 

I don’t want to give away the whole thing, but I can tell you that my book, tentatively titled The Katie Chronicles: Book One, is about a teenaged girl whose parents are getting divorced and tells how she navigates her way through it. It includes therapy, anxiety attacks, rebellion, a brush with psychiatry, and more.

Before you ask, let me say that no, it’s not an autobiography. I have experienced some of the things I wrote about, but it’s not my story. I mean, I wrote it, but it’s not about me.

As I said, it’s a young adult/middle-grade novel. It’s roughly 178 pages (51,000 words) and it only took me three months to write. I know, right? The thriller I’m working on now has been brewing for 2 ½ years, and I’m only through Chapter 6!

Now, 2002 was a long time ago. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know my memory is suspect, but I do remember that I worked on that manuscript every spare second I had. I was working full-time and terribly sick with my depression, but the words just flowed out through my fingers and onto my screen.

That’s pretty lucky, if you ask me. Maybe that’s why they tell you to “write about what you know” – it’s easier to get into the groove and just keep going and going and going…

WRITING A BOOK

Writing a book is not easy, even when you’re in the groove. It seems everyone wants to write one, and why not? We all have something to say. I’m no different. I think I come across better on paper than I do in person, so I prefer to communicate in writing whenever possible. It’s only natural, then, that I would squeeze out a book at some point.

A good word count to shoot for when writing a middle grade/young adult novel is about 55,000 words. They differ a little bit, but even though I’m not sure if my book falls into the middle-grade or the young adult category, my original manuscript came out at 51,000 words. My publisher said it was a *little* on the long side, so my guess is that it’s going to be considered a middle-grade book. Writing a book is not as easy as people think it is. It takes courage, discipline, time, motivation, patience, persistence, and a whole bunch of other things.

As an aside, I have a beef: Writers are taken for granted, I think. Consider the fact that every. single. thing. you’ve ever read was written by a person. Take a second and think about that. Kind of amazing, huh? And yet, many writers are reluctant to call themselves writers because of the stereotype of writers being a lazy, frivolous (and very troubled) bunch that will “never amount to anything,” as if writing itself is not a credible profession.

I’ve been looking for freelance writing opportunities for many months now. Did you know that most publications, whether in print or online, pay their freelance writers by the word? That can be anywhere from 1 cent to $2 per word. Most of the gigs I look at are between 2 and 10 cents per word. The good ones are harder to find and often require paid subscriptions to websites.

That means that, if I wrote a 1,200-word blog post for a company at 2 cents per word, I would get paid exactly $24. Now, you may say, “$24? That’s awesome! I love getting paid to write!” But if you’re trying to make a living by selling your writing, you’re going to get nowhere fast at that rate. If it takes me an hour and a half to write said post, that’s a whopping $16 an hour.

In other words, making a living writing is very difficult.

All I’m saying is that most people (including hiring managers) take advantage of writers. We are not paid what we’re worth. But since we all know that, many newer writers will take what they can get, even if that’s 3 or 4 cents a word. That means they’re underselling themselves, which undercuts the value of the whole industry.

End of rant. 🙂

GETTING PUBLISHED

My book deal really just landed in my lap through very little effort on my part (aside from the three months of blood, sweat, and tears I poured into it). Someone I know on Twitter tweeted that she helps people find agents and to leave a comment if you were interested.

I was interested. (I had tried to find an agent after I completed the manuscript in 2002, but I was unsuccessful.) The next thing I knew, I was on the phone with her talking about my book, she sent over an author’s agreement (a contract), and voila! here we are!

Who’s the lucky publisher? The wonderful Eliezer Tristan Publishing, headed by mental health advocate and author @TheSarahFader.

I will be the first to acknowledge the ease with which I found a publisher – it does NOT usually happen this way. I was in the right place (Twitter) at the right time and saw the right tweet by the right person. Some people might call that luck, others divine intervention. I call it Karma.

I’ve already been through editing and they have assigned a designer to create the cover. I have some idea of what I’d like, but I’ll leave the creating up to her.

I’m being published by a small, independent publishing house and not one of the “big five” – Penguin Random House, Hachette, HarperCollins, MacMillan, or Simon & Schuster. And that’s just fine. I mean, I am getting published, and my book will be available on Amazon, on the ETP website, and (hopefully) in Barnes & Nobles stores. How many people can say that?

ACCEPTING GOOD THINGS

When you have depression, it’s hard to believe that anything good will happen to you. When it does – and it will – it’s easy to look at it with skepticism and wonder, “What do they want from me?”

The truth is, though, that not everyone wants something from you. At least, that’s what I believe. When I do something nice for someone, I’m not expecting anything in return. I’m just being nice. I bet you’re the same way. Why can’t it be that way for other people, too?

Maybe, just maybe, the folks at ETP like my book and think it has a chance to sell. Maybe they want me to succeed, and not just for their sake. The leader of the pack, Sarah Fader, is a mental health advocate, for Pete’s sake. We had several interactions on Twitter before this; perhaps she thinks I actually have something to offer?

So maybe I should just relax and enjoy the ride. I’m already working on the second book of the series, and immersing myself back in the story I wrote so long ago has been fun. In re-reading it, I’ve even thought, “Hey, this isn’t bad!” That’s fun, too.

It’s just so hard for me to give myself a break. It might be that way for you, too.

How did we learn this crap? Why do we minimize the good things? What happened in our lives to make us wonder if we’re worth the good stuff?

Of course we are! We’re human beings, right? And all humans deserve respect and dignity, that’s the way I look at it. So let’s try to treat ourselves with respect and dignity.

If something good comes your way, feel free to look at it with an eye toward the escape hatch, but don’t blow it off. Try to think of it this way: What would you say to your BFF if this was happening to her? Then be that nice and understanding and supportive with yourself.

You deserve to be happy. You deserve goodness in your life. You deserve to give yourself the benefit of the doubt.

Accepting these things is what recovery and progress are all about. So do yourself a favor and treat yourself with the same kindness and generosity as you treat your friends with.

You deserve at least that.

Keep on keepin’ on, Depression Warrior! And remember to Keep it Real.