emotions – Page 2 – Depression Warrior

Mental Illness and Addiction: Let’s Talk About It

05/23/2019 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash Mental Health Awareness Month is coming to an end, so let’s talk about Stigma. Merriam-Webster defines Stigma as “a mark of shame or discredit.” Now let’s see what the definition of Shame is: “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.” Those are pretty heavy definitions, if you ask me. But they describe the experience of so many of us who live with mental illness and/or addiction. LIFE IS NOT FAIR Mental illnesses are,…

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Panic Attacks

04/11/2019 Laura Becker Comments 2 comments

Photo by Kat J on Unsplash Have I ever told you that I used to have panic attacks? No? Well, we’ll fix that today. Everyone experiences them a little differently, but they all suck the big one. This is what mine look like: Intense fear, feeling like the world is about to end, feeling like I’m “losing it,” hyperventilating, sobbing, and a very strong and rapid heartbeat. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Panic attacks are, in fact, pretty scary. The thought that you’re…

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MHM #6: 11 Low-Effort Self-Care Tips to Help You Feel Less Depressed

04/04/2019 Laura Becker Comments 5 comments

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash Every so often, I like to publish a post about general mental health care. So today, I bring you Mental Health Moment (MHM) #6. I’ve been feeling a bit run-down lately. I know a lot of it is because of the stress I’ve been under recently, but the other part of the equation is that my last round of TMS was in November. The effects of the TMS usually start subsiding after about five or six months,…

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Dealing With Loss

03/24/2019 Laura Becker Comments 3 comments

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash As you may know, I started a data entry job a couple of weeks ago. Then we found out that my wife’s brother has terminal cancer. Then I got really sick for several days, and I’ve been in a lot of physical pain because of a nerve problem in my lower-lower back. Isn’t it funny how fast things can change? THIS IS NOT WHERE I THOUGHT I’D BE RIGHT NOW Due to the regular stress and…

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Is It Laziness or Are You Overwhelmed?

01/24/2019 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

Photo by Daniel Monteiro on Unsplash I often think of myself as lazy. This is not at all helpful. Do you do the same thing? I know better; I know I’m not lazy. I have good days and bad days, like everyone else. Some days, I have more energy than others. But I judge myself harshly for not getting “enough” done most days. LAZY V. DEPRESSED For many people with depression, one of our biggest symptoms is low energy. You know, loss…

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TMS: Weeks One and Two

10/16/2018 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash Hello, fellow Warriors! You might have noticed that I’ve been MIA the last couple weeks. That’s because my old nemesis, depression, has come for a visit and settled right in. In my last post, I said I was feeling better. That was true – I was no longer suicidal and thought I was headed back to feeling “normal” (whatever that is). Alas, it was not to be. I should have known, since I was so down before…

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My Trip to the Hospital T/W: Suicide

09/28/2018 Laura Becker Comments 4 comments

Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash Well. The last 72 hours have been very interesting. If you read my last post, you know that I’ve been exhausted. And that can be a dangerous time for anyone dealing with a mental illness. Even though I write about depression, anxiety, and addiction (as well as life in general), and I sometimes have my shit together, I am not immune to emotional relapses. Nor am I immune to overwhelm, stress, or crises. In the last…

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How to Get Unstuck When You’re Feeling Down

09/05/2018 Laura Becker Comments 2 comments

I woke up at 6:30 this morning, after about seven hours of sleep. An hour later, I realized that I was feeling down. Please do me the favor of letting me explore this with you. WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY? I don’t know. That’s the wonder of mood disorders. I’ve been feeling pretty good lately – I’ve even done my yoga three mornings in a row and plan on doing it again after I write this. I don’t want…

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A Lesson in Self-Worth

08/27/2018 Laura Becker Comments 2 comments

I’m not sure how to start this post off, so I’ll just dive right into it. You know that I have trouble with feeling worthy, feeling deserving of people’s attention and time. Don’t ask me why this is because I’m not sure. At this point, I don’t even know if it matters (but I sure am curious). Well, something happened this weekend that, in retrospect, gave me a feeling of worth. Let me explain. VISITORS FROM AFAR Four months ago,…

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balance, meditation, peace, focus

A Moment of Peace

08/14/2018 Laura Becker Comments 2 comments

I had a revelation last week. When I get depressed, I feel a hole in my heart, an emptiness. And when I feel anxious, I feel tingly – in a bad way – in the same place. But one day last week, I was sitting on the balcony, minding my own business, when I noticed the absence of the hole and the tinglies. I felt “full.” And it was awesome. It was peace, it was serenity, it was contentment –…

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All About Triggers

07/20/2018 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

I was feeling substantially depressed yesterday. Often, when I feel this way, I have no idea why. But this time, there were two culprits: One is that I started on a (very) small dose of Wellbutrin last week to try and curb the sexual side effects that seem to be inherent in anti-depressants, and the other is because I hurt my wife’s feelings late the night before. I was so miserable when I woke up, I canceled two appointments and…

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10 Ways to Fake Having Confidence in Yourself

05/31/2018 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself, though most people would never know it. I walk with my head held high, a nonchalant attitude, and like I belong wherever I am. But my swagger betrays my real feelings. I used to pride myself on being very hard to read. I was able to fool most of the people most of the time, therefore eliminating feelings of vulnerability (kind of, but not really). Until the last ten years or…

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Small Changes Can Lead to Big Mood Swings

05/04/2018 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

I haven’t been feeling that hot lately. After doing so well for so long (by my standards, anyway), this is a let-down. This is a dangerous time for me. This is when my depression tells me that it’s “all down from here.” It says, “No one gives a shit.” Mostly, it says, “It doesn’t matter.” That last one is a doozy. Because when nothing matters, nothing matters. That’s when I’m prone to drink or use or stop doing the things…

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Dealing With Negative Thoughts

04/13/2018 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

image credit: Wright Angle Marketing Negative thoughts. We all have them, right? But people with depression, anxiety, and addiction issues tend to have them more than the general public. And sometimes, they linger. THE SNOWBALL EFFECT & NEGATIVITY Yesterday started out pretty well. I was in a decent mood and looking forward to a productive day. But then I went to the dentist to get fitted for my permanent dentures, only to find out an hour later that my…

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Shame

03/29/2018 Laura Becker Comments 0 Comment

I have a lot of theories on life. One of them is, “Nothing is as simple as it looks.” I’ve stood by that statement for at least the last 25 years, since my first job as a substance abuse counselor. The thing is, you don’t know what’s going on in anyone else’s life unless they tell you. But we tend to jump to conclusions and assume things. You know those people you think have all their shit together and that…

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