I’ve started this post so many times, I can’t count them all, lol. I feel the need to talk about a science-based theory called neuroplasticity, and even though it’s a simple concept, it’s hard to explain. I will try my best. If you’ve been reading the Keepin’ it Real blog for any amount of time, you know I suffered greatly from major depressive disorder (MDD) for more than 30 years. I was suicidal much of that time and endured a…
Image credit: Michael Dziedzic on unsplash Victim. That’s how I saw myself for three decades, only I didn’t realize it. I was a victim of depression and all the negative thoughts, falsehoods, and forces it entails. It grabbed a hold of me, thrashed me around, and spit me out. It nearly killed me – more than once. I tried to fight it, stuff it, sidestep it, ignore it, deny it, and I constantly tried to work through it. But…
Do you know the difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist? Many people don’t; they think these terms are interchangeable. A therapist can be a psychologist (someone with a PhD), a licensed social worker, a licensed marriage and family therapist, or a few others. (NOTE: Many insurance companies will only pay for therapy from people with certain degrees or licensure and sometimes put a limit on the number of sessions you can attend each year. Make sure to check before…
**TW: SUICIDAL IDEATION** This post is full of Hope. But it is also about surviving depression and suicidal thoughts; thus, the trigger warning. If you are feeling sensitive to such things right now, don’t read it. You can always skip it or come back to it later, when you’re feeling stronger. Image credit: Sydney Sims I’ve started this blog post four times and, dammit, this one is going to stick! LOL The first version was about Seasonal Affective…
Image credit: Glenn Carstens-Peters About a month ago, I was feeling quite depressed. And since my depression had been in remission for a while, I was surprised. Despite knowing from experience that I would eventually feel better and be able to get through my days without feeling that damn hole in my heart, I still felt distraught. Depression makes you feel like it’s never going to get better, that you will always feel that way. It is the nature…
Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash So, I’m going through something interesting right now. On the one hand, I’ve been experiencing mood swings for the last couple of weeks. I’ve recently had a couple of REALLY bad anxious days. Yesterday was one of them. Luckily, I had a therapy appointment in the morning, so I attempted to work through it with Kim; unfortunately, I felt just as lousy when I left as when I got there. It was out of hand. I realize…
So I had a setback in my treatment last week. Monday evening, most of Tuesday, and all day Wednesday, I was very depressed again. That’s never happened to me during TMS before. In the past, once I start feeling good, I’m good for about six months. It was scary. I thought maybe this time, the TMS wouldn’t work. DEPRESSION BE GONE! Since then, my mood has been steadily improving, though it’s slow going. I’m still extra-sensitive to any kind of…
So, I just started week three of TMS today, and I have to say – I feel great! How often do you say that? “I feel great!” If you’re anything like me, it’s not very often. But I’m here to say that it is possible, even if you don’t think so yet. “SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER” I started feeling better after only four sessions; I had number 15 this morning. Last week, I felt pretty good, but today I’m noticing an even…
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash Hello, fellow Warriors! You might have noticed that I’ve been MIA the last couple weeks. That’s because my old nemesis, depression, has come for a visit and settled right in. In my last post, I said I was feeling better. That was true – I was no longer suicidal and thought I was headed back to feeling “normal” (whatever that is). Alas, it was not to be. I should have known, since I was so down before…
I hate depression. I hate that I can be having a good day, or even a good week, and then *BAM* – I run into a wall. My wife told me a few days ago that when I’m depressed, I’m “predictably unpredictable.” That’s the same thing I say about my depression. AND THEN, SUDDENLY… I was just listening to a song by Halsey called Alone. I don’t know the words, I just like the music. But that’s how I feel…
I’ve been fairly stable since last fall, after my second round of TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation). But after a more recent bout of bad days, occasional panic, and a bit of suicidal ideation (not anymore, don’t worry!), my psychiatrist, Dr. Nelson, and I decided to start another round of it. Of course, I talked to CeAnne about it, but ultimately, it’s my decision. I take my mental health care seriously; I have to. I pay attention to Dr. Nelson during…
