Yoga. Tennis. Playing the piano. Softball. Bowling. Photography. Reading for pleasure. What do these things have in common? They are all things that help me feel better. The bigger question is why do I stop doing them when I know they will brighten my mood and could actually help to delay (or derail) a depressive episode? I know I’m not alone in this, although for the longest time, I thought I was. Why do we stop doing the things that…
Image credit: Tim Mossholder on Unsplash Depression and anxiety ruled my life for 35 years. And although my depression sometimes seemed to come out of the blue, in retrospect, I can see that there were almost always signs. It’s taken a long time, but I was finally able to figure out that it usually comes on gradually. I have also learned some of the signs to look out for. When they pop up (and they still do occasionally, even…
Image credit: Caroline Selfors on Unsplash Not too long ago, I was thinking how hard it is to imagine how horrible I felt most of my life. I figured that was a good sign, being so far removed from it. Maybe I would never feel that way again. But then my girlfriend and I watched a movie called The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Have you seen it? It’s about a boy in ninth grade who gets picked on…
Welcome to Mental Health Moment (MHM) #10! MHMs are shorter posts and often include a list of some sort, making them quicker to read. Image credit: Todd Diemer Do you know what Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is? It’s a type of depression that’s brought on by a lack of sunlight. It usually hits during the fall and winter months, and it can hit hard. SAD can, less often, bring about dark moods in the spring and summer. It…
Image credit: Glenn Carstens-Peters About a month ago, I was feeling quite depressed. And since my depression had been in remission for a while, I was surprised. Despite knowing from experience that I would eventually feel better and be able to get through my days without feeling that damn hole in my heart, I still felt distraught. Depression makes you feel like it’s never going to get better, that you will always feel that way. It is the nature…
Image credit: Gaelle Marcel for Unsplash **TW: SUICIDE** This post talks about suicide. Please do not continue if you think it might be a trigger for you. There are resources listed at the end of this post. Hello, fellow Warrior! Well, it’s taken me more than three years to do it, but I’m finally writing my 100th post! 🙂 That means a lot to me, because my moods tend to dictate what I’m willing/able to do – and I…
Image by Priscilla Du Preez ¡Hola, Warrior! 😉 I don’t know about you, but I’m an introvert. I need a lot of time to myself in general, and especially after doing anything social. I need to “recharge my batteries,” so to speak. And I’ve always been this way. I’ve been saying for decades that there’s a finite amount of sociability in me at any given time. Still, there are times even I feel the need to socialize. But COVID-19…
Photo by Ryan McGuire What is a safety plan, anyway? A safety plan is a document that lists everything you can think of that will keep you safe from harming yourself or others, or from dipping way down the continuum of depression. I’ve had one for many, many years. I now need to update it because I moved to another state and I need to rebuild my professional support team. Do you have a safety plan? It can be very…
Photo by Maksym Kaharlytskyi on Unsplash I feel small today. Small and quiet. My last post, How to Change Destructive Thinking, has a positive twang to it. It’s all about possibility and how we actually do have the ability to challenge our negative thoughts; we just need the tools to do so. That hasn’t changed. It is still true for me, and it is still true for you. I wrote that post two days ago, published it yesterday, and sent it out…
Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash So, I’m going through something interesting right now. On the one hand, I’ve been experiencing mood swings for the last couple of weeks. I’ve recently had a couple of REALLY bad anxious days. Yesterday was one of them. Luckily, I had a therapy appointment in the morning, so I attempted to work through it with Kim; unfortunately, I felt just as lousy when I left as when I got there. It was out of hand. I realize…
Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash Every so often, I like to publish a post about general mental health care. So today, I bring you Mental Health Moment (MHM) #6. I’ve been feeling a bit run-down lately. I know a lot of it is because of the stress I’ve been under recently, but the other part of the equation is that my last round of TMS was in November. The effects of the TMS usually start subsiding after about five or six months,…
So I had a setback in my treatment last week. Monday evening, most of Tuesday, and all day Wednesday, I was very depressed again. That’s never happened to me during TMS before. In the past, once I start feeling good, I’m good for about six months. It was scary. I thought maybe this time, the TMS wouldn’t work. DEPRESSION BE GONE! Since then, my mood has been steadily improving, though it’s slow going. I’m still extra-sensitive to any kind of…
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash Hello, fellow Warriors! You might have noticed that I’ve been MIA the last couple weeks. That’s because my old nemesis, depression, has come for a visit and settled right in. In my last post, I said I was feeling better. That was true – I was no longer suicidal and thought I was headed back to feeling “normal” (whatever that is). Alas, it was not to be. I should have known, since I was so down before…
Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash Well. The last 72 hours have been very interesting. If you read my last post, you know that I’ve been exhausted. And that can be a dangerous time for anyone dealing with a mental illness. Even though I write about depression, anxiety, and addiction (as well as life in general), and I sometimes have my shit together, I am not immune to emotional relapses. Nor am I immune to overwhelm, stress, or crises. In the last…
**In honor of my 52nd post, I thought I would change things up a bit. I had intended this to be a funny-in-an-ironic-sort-of-way post, but I guess I’m not in that kind of mood today. Regardless, I hope you enjoy it. Maybe you can relate?** You Know You’re Depressed When… There are literally billions of web pages and you aren’t interested in any of them. Every little thing gets on your last nerve. Sleep comes when (and if) it…
I was feeling substantially depressed yesterday. Often, when I feel this way, I have no idea why. But this time, there were two culprits: One is that I started on a (very) small dose of Wellbutrin last week to try and curb the sexual side effects that seem to be inherent in anti-depressants, and the other is because I hurt my wife’s feelings late the night before. I was so miserable when I woke up, I canceled two appointments and…
Sometimes, things whirl around in my head like a tornado and they don’t land anywhere. That’s one reason I like to write – I can get the shit out of my head and onto paper, where I can read it over, ponder it, and decide what to do about it. Otherwise, it all just gets sucked into the black hole that is my brain and never leaves. The fun part of these tornadoes is that they can happen at any…
I haven’t been feeling that hot lately. After doing so well for so long (by my standards, anyway), this is a let-down. This is a dangerous time for me. This is when my depression tells me that it’s “all down from here.” It says, “No one gives a shit.” Mostly, it says, “It doesn’t matter.” That last one is a doozy. Because when nothing matters, nothing matters. That’s when I’m prone to drink or use or stop doing the things…
