Image credit: Hello, I’m Nik on Unsplash DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) is a treatment for depression which has been paramount in changing my attitude as well as the stories I tell myself. It has made a big difference in my life. It occurred to me recently, though, that I’ve never written a post about it; I’ve just poked and prodded at it. That’s been a big oversight on my part, and it changes now. As one of only two…
Image credit: Ylanite Koppens I was born to write. Unfortunately, I was also born to be depressed. Keeping a traditional journal is one way to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head so you can take a more objective look at them. But writing long-form, even if it’s a rules-free method such as free association or a “vomit draft,” in which you write down whatever comes to mind without censoring it, takes time, energy, and commitment. I…
Image by Priscilla Du Preez ¡Hola, Warrior! 😉 I don’t know about you, but I’m an introvert. I need a lot of time to myself in general, and especially after doing anything social. I need to “recharge my batteries,” so to speak. And I’ve always been this way. I’ve been saying for decades that there’s a finite amount of sociability in me at any given time. Still, there are times even I feel the need to socialize. But COVID-19…
Photo by Ryan McGuire What is a safety plan, anyway? A safety plan is a document that lists everything you can think of that will keep you safe from harming yourself or others, or from dipping way down the continuum of depression. I’ve had one for many, many years. I now need to update it because I moved to another state and I need to rebuild my professional support team. Do you have a safety plan? It can be very…
Photo by Alex Lopez on Unsplash Hello, Warrior! 🙂 You know how sometimes you’re in a bad mood or feel depressed or anxious and you have no idea why? Yeah, I don’t feel that way today! In fact, I’m in a really good mood, despite the dark, rainy, thunderous sky. I love it when that happens! I WROTE A BOOK! You may or may not know that I recently had a book published! Sorry for the shameless plug, but I’m going to refer…
I had a revelation last week. When I get depressed, I feel a hole in my heart, an emptiness. And when I feel anxious, I feel tingly – in a bad way – in the same place. But one day last week, I was sitting on the balcony, minding my own business, when I noticed the absence of the hole and the tinglies. I felt “full.” And it was awesome. It was peace, it was serenity, it was contentment –…
Depression has a way of creeping into my life when I’m not keeping myself busy. You too? I’ve played with different kinds of routines over recent years, and they do help. But damn, they’re hard to stick with! For some reason that I will never understand, I always seem to quit doing the things that help me feel better. OBSTACLES So I get overwhelmed pretty easily. It hasn’t been happening too much lately, but over the last fifteen years or…
We’re going to do something a little different today. Let’s try a little experiment. 🙂 These are some of the words others have used to describe me. Notice if there’s anything these six words have in common: Funny Athlete Smart Compassionate Kind Talented Now here are six words I have often used to describe myself over the years. Do you see a pattern? Worthless Fucked up Incompetent Depressed Inadequate Hopeless Yeah, the difference is pretty glaring, isn’t it? For the…
Sometimes, things whirl around in my head like a tornado and they don’t land anywhere. That’s one reason I like to write – I can get the shit out of my head and onto paper, where I can read it over, ponder it, and decide what to do about it. Otherwise, it all just gets sucked into the black hole that is my brain and never leaves. The fun part of these tornadoes is that they can happen at any…
I haven’t been feeling that hot lately. After doing so well for so long (by my standards, anyway), this is a let-down. This is a dangerous time for me. This is when my depression tells me that it’s “all down from here.” It says, “No one gives a shit.” Mostly, it says, “It doesn’t matter.” That last one is a doozy. Because when nothing matters, nothing matters. That’s when I’m prone to drink or use or stop doing the things…
Imagine an empty space where your heart is supposed to be, like it’s missing. That’s what depression feels like for me. It doesn’t always start like that; sometimes it’s a gradual (and sometimes unnoticeable) descent into that darkness. When I can feel it like that, though, it means it’s gotten pretty bad. I’ve been having a rough time with this episode. Progress, while definitely being made, has felt slow, and I’m less optimistic than usual. It’s been pretty frustrating. BEING…
“One day at a time.” Even if you don’t attend a 12-step group, I bet you’ve heard that saying plenty of times. And it’s true. If you think about it, tomorrow never comes. In the world of physics, it’s impossible. It is always today. “Tomorrow” is really just a concept. Every morning you wake up, it’s today, right? You can’t wake up and it’s somehow yesterday (unless you’re Bill Murray in the classic movie Groundhog Day). It’s always today. So…
Today, I’m going to share my take on Gratitude with you. So buckle up. 😉 I had a therapy session a few days ago with Kim. Somehow, the topic turned to Self-Compassion (probably because I have none). She said, “I’m totally serious about you developing a self-compassion routine.” To which I replied, “I don’t even know what that would look like,” which, sadly perhaps, is the absolute truth. You may not know this about me, and it may not always…
**THIS IS A FOLLOW-UP POST TO MAY 7, 2017** If you read Sunday’s post, “Anxiety, Mindfulness, and Learning to Relax”, you know that I promised to write a follow-up post to let you know how my day ended up. I’m happy to report that I was, indeed, able to relax AND have some fun! Win-win, eh?! SPRING CLEANUP The first order of the day was to participate in our condo complex’s spring cleanup extravaganza. I had been looking forward to…
I’m doing something fun today – two things, actually. First, our condo complex is having a little spring cleaning day, and then a good friend and I are going to watch the Minnesota Twins take on the Boston Red Sox. The day will be challenging in many ways, but it’s a pretty big win for me, because I don’t do many “fun” things. And even when I do, I don’t always end up actually having fun. I’m too busy worrying….
