Image credit: Brooke Cagle on Unsplash My therapist recently asked me what happiness means to me. I didn’t have an immediate answer for her. I had to think about it. Naturally, happiness means different things to different people, and the road there varies. Some people think being rich will make them happy. Some believe they will be happy after they find Mr. or Ms. Right and have 2.3 kids, a picket fence, and a dog. While I believe that…
Image by Priscilla Du Preez ¡Hola, Warrior! 😉 I don’t know about you, but I’m an introvert. I need a lot of time to myself in general, and especially after doing anything social. I need to “recharge my batteries,” so to speak. And I’ve always been this way. I’ve been saying for decades that there’s a finite amount of sociability in me at any given time. Still, there are times even I feel the need to socialize. But COVID-19…
Well, hello there, fellow Warrior! I wanted to let you know that the focus of the Depression Warrior website will be changing ever-so-slightly. I’ve been feeling so much better lately that I changed the tagline to the site from “Fighting the Stigma of Mental Illness and Addiction” to “On Surviving Depression”. I think it sounds more hopeful, maybe even a little positive. It also better reflects what I write about. Now, onto today’s post! FEELING BETTER I was thinking yesterday…
Photo by Thomas Willmott on Unsplash I learned something new in therapy a while ago. I don’t recall what we were talking about, but the moral of the story is that feeling comfortable and staying in “the known” isn’t always a good thing. “THE KNOWN” IS COMFORTING As human beings, we are creatures of comfort. We get into our routines and habits and do the same things – day in, day out. And for the most part, this is fine. It gets…
They say that hindsight is 20/20, right? That’s good, because I totally blanked on Suicide Prevention Awareness Week (Sept. 8-14) and World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day (Sept. 10) this year. At least I didn’t miss the entire Suicide Prevention Awareness Month! In hindsight, I realize that I need to be a little more organized when it comes to these things. I haven’t been on the Twitter machine much lately, so I didn’t see the hashtags that are associated with these…
Photo by Jordan Whitt on Unsplash When you come out to someone about your depression or anxiety, you may encounter any one of a number of responses. Here are a few examples: They give you a hug. They say, “Really? I had no idea.” They ask if they can help. They say something like, “What do you have to be depressed about?” This post is going to address some of the things you really don’t want to say to someone who has depression,…
As I explained in the previous post, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Lots of organizations go the extra mile during this time to get the word out about how common mental illness really is – that we all know someone (or several someones) who have mental health diagnoses, even if we don’t realize it. The idea is to reduce the stigma associated with the term “mental illness” and take it for what it is: A medical condition. Our last…
May is Mental Health Month in the U.S. It is the time of year mental health agencies, organizations, and individuals across the country fight the stigma surrounding mental illness even harder than they usually do. You are undoubtedly aware that teen suicide (and suicide in general) is a big problem here, with death by suicide being the second-leading cause of death in the U.S. for children ages 10-14 and ages 15-24, behind only unintentional injury. In 2017 alone, more than…
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash I’ve been having thoughts of drinking lately and, inevitably, it became an urge one day last week. I hate it when that happens. So I did what any normal, healthy, recovering alcoholic would do: I called someone who understands. She talked me down and convinced me that I needed to return to my sobriety support group. It’s a pretty big deal that I called her before I went out. In the past, I would go…
Photo by Leti Kugler on Unsplash So I turned 50 a couple weeks ago. 🙂 I’ve been looking forward to it since my birthday last year. Who doesn’t want to be fifty and fabulous, right? LOL I had a good day, and that’s saying a lot. I woke up at seven thirty, had my coffee, checked my Facebook feed for some birthday lovin’, and settled in. I spent all day in my jammie bottoms and my favorite ratty t-shirt. Comfort personified! But…
I’m not sure how to start this post off, so I’ll just dive right into it. You know that I have trouble with feeling worthy, feeling deserving of people’s attention and time. Don’t ask me why this is because I’m not sure. At this point, I don’t even know if it matters (but I sure am curious). Well, something happened this weekend that, in retrospect, gave me a feeling of worth. Let me explain. VISITORS FROM AFAR Four months ago,…
We’re going to do something a little different today. Let’s try a little experiment. 🙂 These are some of the words others have used to describe me. Notice if there’s anything these six words have in common: Funny Athlete Smart Compassionate Kind Talented Now here are six words I have often used to describe myself over the years. Do you see a pattern? Worthless Fucked up Incompetent Depressed Inadequate Hopeless Yeah, the difference is pretty glaring, isn’t it? For the…
I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself, though most people would never know it. I walk with my head held high, a nonchalant attitude, and like I belong wherever I am. But my swagger betrays my real feelings. I used to pride myself on being very hard to read. I was able to fool most of the people most of the time, therefore eliminating feelings of vulnerability (kind of, but not really). Until the last ten years or…
I have a lot of theories on life. One of them is, “Nothing is as simple as it looks.” I’ve stood by that statement for at least the last 25 years, since my first job as a substance abuse counselor. The thing is, you don’t know what’s going on in anyone else’s life unless they tell you. But we tend to jump to conclusions and assume things. You know those people you think have all their shit together and that…
image by coolnsmart.com When clinical depression hits you, it changes everything. It changes how and what you think, what you believe, and how you behave. It only makes sense that when you’re going through a depression, your brain tells you depressing things, including flat-out lies. It’s really good at that. Perhaps the biggest lie mine tells me is this: I hate you. THAT’S A PRETTY STRONG WORD, ISN’T IT? Hate is not a word I use often. In fact,…
My wife and I were watching The Fosters (great show) recently, and one of the characters said something that really struck me: “I think you’re just afraid of being anything other than the poor girl with the sad story.” Isn’t that interesting? There have been times over the years that I’ve thought, “This is who I am. This is what I am – depressed, lonely, and stuck.” But what and who would I be if I was suddenly not depressed…
We all want and need validation, right? It helps us become well-adjusted and realize that we are worthy. Well, I’ve been learning quite a bit about that lately. Take my relationship with my mom, for example. She’s great, really. She has always let me make and learn from my own mistakes and has never really butted into my life, which I appreciate. And yet… I spent a couple decades trying to “make” her proud of me. I would send her…
**Personal Note: Though I have been diagnosed with three different mental health conditions, I usually speak mostly of depression, as that is the one I have the most experience with and have done the most personal research on. But much of what I share (in any post) can apply to other mental health diagnoses.** One of the most profound – and helpful – things I occasionally remember learning from my DBT class is that thoughts cannot hurt you. Say what?…
