I’ve started this post so many times, I can’t count them all, lol. I feel the need to talk about a science-based theory called neuroplasticity, and even though it’s a simple concept, it’s hard to explain. I will try my best. If you’ve been reading the Keepin’ it Real blog for any amount of time, you know I suffered greatly from major depressive disorder (MDD) for more than 30 years. I was suicidal much of that time and endured a…
Image credit: Valentin Petkov on Unsplash The holidays are upon us once again! And whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, or any other holiday, you might be feeling a little extra stress. How am I going to make it? you may be asking yourself. To that, I say that you’ve survived every previous holiday, and you’ll survive this one, too. THE STRESS OF THE HOLIDAY SEASON There are a few extra variables involved when we celebrate the holidays….
Image credit: Dayne Topkin **MHMs are shorter posts designed to be a quicker read than my usual posts. Today’s MHM tackles something we don’t talk about enough: Hope.** I wasn’t officially diagnosed with major depressive disorder until I was 47 years old. That was partly my fault, because I did not seek psychiatric help until I was 33, although I’d been in therapy for several years. I’d been very depressed most of my life; I don’t really know why…
Do you know the difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist? Many people don’t; they think these terms are interchangeable. A therapist can be a psychologist (someone with a PhD), a licensed social worker, a licensed marriage and family therapist, or a few others. (NOTE: Many insurance companies will only pay for therapy from people with certain degrees or licensure and sometimes put a limit on the number of sessions you can attend each year. Make sure to check before…
Image credit: Isaac Quesada on Unsplash I’ve felt really good for most of the last year and a half now, and for literally the first time in my 52 years, my depression is in remission. That’s a BIG freaking deal! 😊 But that does not mean I’m completely out of the woods, and it certainly doesn’t mean that it can’t come back and take me down at any time. While I’m feeling decent and going about my life, my…
Image credit: Caroline Selfors on Unsplash Not too long ago, I was thinking how hard it is to imagine how horrible I felt most of my life. I figured that was a good sign, being so far removed from it. Maybe I would never feel that way again. But then my girlfriend and I watched a movie called The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Have you seen it? It’s about a boy in ninth grade who gets picked on…
Image credit: George Pagan III on Unsplash I used to think that everything I told myself had to be true, that the stories I told myself (like that I was no good and I was damaged) were factual. When my brain would tell me that I was always going to be depressed – and it told me that constantly – I believed it. And when it told me, “You don’t deserve to be loved; you are not worthy,” I…
**TW: SUICIDAL IDEATION** This post is full of Hope. But it is also about surviving depression and suicidal thoughts; thus, the trigger warning. If you are feeling sensitive to such things right now, don’t read it. You can always skip it or come back to it later, when you’re feeling stronger. Image credit: Sydney Sims I’ve started this blog post four times and, dammit, this one is going to stick! LOL The first version was about Seasonal Affective…
Image credit: Glenn Carstens-Peters About a month ago, I was feeling quite depressed. And since my depression had been in remission for a while, I was surprised. Despite knowing from experience that I would eventually feel better and be able to get through my days without feeling that damn hole in my heart, I still felt distraught. Depression makes you feel like it’s never going to get better, that you will always feel that way. It is the nature…
There are many negative terms used to describe someone with a mental illness. Indulge me for a moment: Crazy and the related “Cray-Cray” Weird/Weirdo Nuts/Nutso Stupid Psycho Cracker Jacks (There simply is no limit on derogatory terms) There is also a number of derogatory terms used in place of “psychiatric unit”: Nuthouse Psycho ward Looney bin (Fill in the blank) These are all hurtful words that can damage a person’s psyche, especially if they already suffer from low self-esteem and…
Photo by Ryan McGuire What is a safety plan, anyway? A safety plan is a document that lists everything you can think of that will keep you safe from harming yourself or others, or from dipping way down the continuum of depression. I’ve had one for many, many years. I now need to update it because I moved to another state and I need to rebuild my professional support team. Do you have a safety plan? It can be very…
Photo by Thomas Willmott on Unsplash I learned something new in therapy a while ago. I don’t recall what we were talking about, but the moral of the story is that feeling comfortable and staying in “the known” isn’t always a good thing. “THE KNOWN” IS COMFORTING As human beings, we are creatures of comfort. We get into our routines and habits and do the same things – day in, day out. And for the most part, this is fine. It gets…
Photo by Maksym Kaharlytskyi on Unsplash I feel small today. Small and quiet. My last post, How to Change Destructive Thinking, has a positive twang to it. It’s all about possibility and how we actually do have the ability to challenge our negative thoughts; we just need the tools to do so. That hasn’t changed. It is still true for me, and it is still true for you. I wrote that post two days ago, published it yesterday, and sent it out…
Hey, Warrior! Happy Wednesday! 🙂 I was just reading an email from a very wise, emotionally healthy woman, clinical psychologist Dr. Gail Brenner. I have two of her books. One is called The End of Self-Help: Discovering Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life, which I haven’t finished yet, but has helped change my outlook on things. Her newest book (2018) is called Suffering is Optional: A Spiritual Guide to Freedom from Self-Judgment and…
Photo by Marija Zaric on Unsplash So, I’m going through something interesting right now. On the one hand, I’ve been experiencing mood swings for the last couple of weeks. I’ve recently had a couple of REALLY bad anxious days. Yesterday was one of them. Luckily, I had a therapy appointment in the morning, so I attempted to work through it with Kim; unfortunately, I felt just as lousy when I left as when I got there. It was out of hand. I realize…
Photo by Helloquence on Unsplash I started a temp job this week. If you’ve been following my journey, you know that I hadn’t been able to work since I had ECT in 2005 until last spring, when I found a temporary (seasonal) part-time job. Well, it’s that season again, so I’m doing the same kind of work as I did last spring – scoring questions from standardized tests taken by students in grades 1-12. That’s a good thing, because I really liked…
So I had a setback in my treatment last week. Monday evening, most of Tuesday, and all day Wednesday, I was very depressed again. That’s never happened to me during TMS before. In the past, once I start feeling good, I’m good for about six months. It was scary. I thought maybe this time, the TMS wouldn’t work. DEPRESSION BE GONE! Since then, my mood has been steadily improving, though it’s slow going. I’m still extra-sensitive to any kind of…
So, I just started week three of TMS today, and I have to say – I feel great! How often do you say that? “I feel great!” If you’re anything like me, it’s not very often. But I’m here to say that it is possible, even if you don’t think so yet. “SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER” I started feeling better after only four sessions; I had number 15 this morning. Last week, I felt pretty good, but today I’m noticing an even…
