Photo by Thomas Willmott on Unsplash I learned something new in therapy a while ago. I don’t recall what we were talking about, but the moral of the story is that feeling comfortable and staying in “the known” isn’t always a good thing. “THE KNOWN” IS COMFORTING As human beings, we are creatures of comfort. We get into our routines and habits and do the same things – day in, day out. And for the most part, this is fine. It gets…
Photo by Jerry Zhang on Unsplash I have a confession to make: I drank a few weeks ago. Yes, I know you might be thinking “What?! Why?” Well, I’ll tell you. My wife and her mother were going to be in West Virginia for a week to visit CeAnne’s terminally ill brother. I was going to have a whole week to myself for the first time in 12 years. Although it was a sad occasion, it offered me plenty of alone time. As…
Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash Mental Health Awareness Month is coming to an end, so let’s talk about Stigma. Merriam-Webster defines Stigma as “a mark of shame or discredit.” Now let’s see what the definition of Shame is: “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.” Those are pretty heavy definitions, if you ask me. But they describe the experience of so many of us who live with mental illness and/or addiction. LIFE IS NOT FAIR Mental illnesses are,…
As I explained in the previous post, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Lots of organizations go the extra mile during this time to get the word out about how common mental illness really is – that we all know someone (or several someones) who have mental health diagnoses, even if we don’t realize it. The idea is to reduce the stigma associated with the term “mental illness” and take it for what it is: A medical condition. Our last…
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash I’ve been having thoughts of drinking lately and, inevitably, it became an urge one day last week. I hate it when that happens. So I did what any normal, healthy, recovering alcoholic would do: I called someone who understands. She talked me down and convinced me that I needed to return to my sobriety support group. It’s a pretty big deal that I called her before I went out. In the past, I would go…
Alcoholism and drug addiction do terrible things to a person. But addiction is also a disease that affects family and friends. One of the most important things I’ve learned in recovery is that I can be the person I always wanted to be: thoughtful, responsible, caring, reliable, morally and ethically responsible. In other words, a good role model. I have heard hundreds – thousands – of others say the same thing. All of this actually makes life easier – it…
So, I haven’t written much in the last two months, and I wanted to let you know that I’m okay. Exhaustion has crept back into my daily life, which means that I’m too tired to write (I often go take a nap instead). Hell, sometimes, I’m too tired to feed the cats! (But I do – no cat goes hungry in this household.) Despite some rough patches, 2018 was a pretty decent year. Even Christmas wasn’t too stressful this year,…
45 Things To Do Sober The original title of this piece was “45 Things to do When You’re Broke, Depressed, and Trying to Stay Sober.” But I thought that was a little long. Being broke, depressed, or trying to stay sober are all tough to deal with. Sometimes, you have to white-knuckle it, which really sucks. It’s damn hard. Being all three at once? I don’t wish that on anyone. For this MHM, I thought I’d share with you some…
I’m not going to lie to you. I found myself in a panic a little earlier today because I really, really wanted to drink. My addictive brain was already starting to make plans. Thankfully, I was in my therapist’s office while it started, so we were able to talk about it. She made a couple suggestions and (naturally) encouraged me to not drink. On the way home, though, the thoughts started steamrolling through my brain. The addict mind had engaged….
This week, the rollercoaster of life came to visit me. Five days ago, I found out that my dearest friend, the woman who has helped me the most in my sobriety and in my life, has lung cancer. My heart almost stopped when she told me. This woman (I’ll call her LG) means the world to me. She has stuck with me through relapses, life’s circumstance, poor decisions on my part, and more, and has never, ever judged me for…
Okay, everyone – hands up if you’ve ever heard this term. Now, hands up if you’ve ever done it? Yup, that’s what I thought. People with mental illnesses are likely to use substances in an unhealthy way in an attempt to relieve their pain and suffering. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work very well. It may work for a few moments or a few hours, but then you’re right back where you were – with the added guilt, shame, and remorse to…
I’m a little proud of myself right now. How often do we say that to ourselves? Probably not much. Definitely not enough. I am a recovering alcoholic. I’ve been sober most of the last 29 years. Yes, I’ve had some relapses. Too many to count, in fact. But I didn’t drink today, which is especially awesome, because I really wanted to. MUSIC IS FOR LOVERS About a month ago, I bought two tickets to a concert by a group called…
