I’ve started this post so many times, I can’t count them all, lol. I feel the need to talk about a science-based theory called neuroplasticity, and even though it’s a simple concept, it’s hard to explain. I will try my best. If you’ve been reading the Keepin’ it Real blog for any amount of time, you know I suffered greatly from major depressive disorder (MDD) for more than 30 years. I was suicidal much of that time and endured a…
Image credit: Scott Graham I recently read a blog post written by another mental health advocate. She stated that it’s basically impossible to change your thoughts or your feelings. She went on to say that people who think you can change them are just plain wrong. I take offense to that. SPEAK FOR YOURSELF There is a difference between knowing something factually and believing that something is true. I’m big on semantics, so to me, the words we use…
Image credit: Priscilla Du Preez It’s hard to talk about what’s bothering you, isn’t it? When my depression first started, around age fourteen, it was bad. Really bad. In fact, I was suicidal. I apparently told my parents how bad I was feeling (I don’t remember doing that), because I soon started seeing a psychologist. But I wasn’t ready to be “in therapy.” I saw it as a failing, an embarrassment, a sign of weakness, so I didn’t say…
Image credit: Caroline Selfors on Unsplash Not too long ago, I was thinking how hard it is to imagine how horrible I felt most of my life. I figured that was a good sign, being so far removed from it. Maybe I would never feel that way again. But then my girlfriend and I watched a movie called The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Have you seen it? It’s about a boy in ninth grade who gets picked on…
Image by Finn on Unsplash I’ve been living with depression since 1984, and believe me, I’ve heard a lot of ignorant comments about mental health issues. One comment stands out the most: “What do YOU have to be depressed about?” I’ve wanted to smack each person who asked me that! If you have a history of depression, you know how much damage a question like that can do. Not only is it painfully ignorant but it’s also rude. It…
Image credit: Vladislav Babienko Last month, I wrote a post that posited that if you change your behaviors, your thoughts will follow. In other words, instead of endlessly waiting for the motivation to do something, just do the thing. Your thoughts will eventually follow and reinforce what you’re doing, which, in turn, becomes a habit – hopefully a healthy one, like working out. Our experiences can actually change the neural pathways in our brains. This is called neuroplasticity. As…
Hey, Warrior! Happy Wednesday! 🙂 I was just reading an email from a very wise, emotionally healthy woman, clinical psychologist Dr. Gail Brenner. I have two of her books. One is called The End of Self-Help: Discovering Peace and Happiness Right at the Heart of Your Messy, Scary, Brilliant Life, which I haven’t finished yet, but has helped change my outlook on things. Her newest book (2018) is called Suffering is Optional: A Spiritual Guide to Freedom from Self-Judgment and…
Happy 2019! 🙂 I don’t make resolutions, do you? Goals and plans change, so we have to be flexible. I figure, why attach myself to processes and outcomes when I know the road to get where I want to be will take multiple detours along the way? After all, we’re supposed to enjoy the journey, right? Don’t get me wrong – planning is good, as are goals and objectives. If you read my last post, you know that I have…
Depression has a way of creeping into my life when I’m not keeping myself busy. You too? I’ve played with different kinds of routines over recent years, and they do help. But damn, they’re hard to stick with! For some reason that I will never understand, I always seem to quit doing the things that help me feel better. OBSTACLES So I get overwhelmed pretty easily. It hasn’t been happening too much lately, but over the last fifteen years or…
I’m not sure I know what to write today. A week ago, I was feeling pretty decent. But, for the last four or five days, I’ve felt “down”. That’s what I call it when it’s not just sadness, but it hasn’t met MY criteria for “depression”. And then, today happened. I was okay in the morning; then I had therapy, where I confronted some feelings I’ve been trying to avoid. FYI – avoidance doesn’t work. WHEN IS IT “DEPRESSION”? I…
I don’t have a lot of confidence in myself, though most people would never know it. I walk with my head held high, a nonchalant attitude, and like I belong wherever I am. But my swagger betrays my real feelings. I used to pride myself on being very hard to read. I was able to fool most of the people most of the time, therefore eliminating feelings of vulnerability (kind of, but not really). Until the last ten years or…
I haven’t been feeling that hot lately. After doing so well for so long (by my standards, anyway), this is a let-down. This is a dangerous time for me. This is when my depression tells me that it’s “all down from here.” It says, “No one gives a shit.” Mostly, it says, “It doesn’t matter.” That last one is a doozy. Because when nothing matters, nothing matters. That’s when I’m prone to drink or use or stop doing the things…
My wife and I were watching The Fosters (great show) recently, and one of the characters said something that really struck me: “I think you’re just afraid of being anything other than the poor girl with the sad story.” Isn’t that interesting? There have been times over the years that I’ve thought, “This is who I am. This is what I am – depressed, lonely, and stuck.” But what and who would I be if I was suddenly not depressed…
“One day at a time.” Even if you don’t attend a 12-step group, I bet you’ve heard that saying plenty of times. And it’s true. If you think about it, tomorrow never comes. In the world of physics, it’s impossible. It is always today. “Tomorrow” is really just a concept. Every morning you wake up, it’s today, right? You can’t wake up and it’s somehow yesterday (unless you’re Bill Murray in the classic movie Groundhog Day). It’s always today. So…
Sometimes I think my brain is out to kill me. It tells me things like: “You don’t matter” “You suck!” “Go ahead and drink, no one will know – or care.” “You’re always going to feel like this.” In other words, it defies logic. My brain has a mind of its own, and it doesn’t always make sense. Maybe more than most. But because I’m in DBT right now, and because my depression has lifted quite a bit since last…
