Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash As you may know, I started a data entry job a couple of weeks ago. Then we found out that my wife’s brother has terminal cancer. Then I got really sick for several days, and I’ve been in a lot of physical pain because of a nerve problem in my lower-lower back. Isn’t it funny how fast things can change? THIS IS NOT WHERE I THOUGHT I’D BE RIGHT NOW Due to the regular stress and…
Alcoholism and drug addiction do terrible things to a person. But addiction is also a disease that affects family and friends. One of the most important things I’ve learned in recovery is that I can be the person I always wanted to be: thoughtful, responsible, caring, reliable, morally and ethically responsible. In other words, a good role model. I have heard hundreds – thousands – of others say the same thing. All of this actually makes life easier – it…
Photo by Helloquence on Unsplash I started a temp job this week. If you’ve been following my journey, you know that I hadn’t been able to work since I had ECT in 2005 until last spring, when I found a temporary (seasonal) part-time job. Well, it’s that season again, so I’m doing the same kind of work as I did last spring – scoring questions from standardized tests taken by students in grades 1-12. That’s a good thing, because I really liked…
Greetings from sunny Florida! You may know that I live in Minnesota, aka The Frozen Tundra. Well, this week, I’m coming to you from my mom and step-dad’s house on the Gulf side of Florida. They moved here from Michigan about 20 years ago and absolutely love it. I, on the other hand, can only take so much humidity. I come down once every couple of years for a break from the daily grind. What am I learning this time…
I realize it’s only the beginning of February, but I gotta tell you – I’m owning 2019 so far! As if it’s not cool enough having an article published in an online journal, this here blog was named one of the top blogs about depression by the folks at the MyTherapy app last week! (Go to their blog to read the very kind and humbling blurb they wrote about me.) And you know what? It’s getting even better. Way back in 2002,…
Last week, I received a Direct Message on Twitter from someone at the MyTherapy app. Turns out they think my blog is a winner! That’s right, they have named Depression Warrior one of the Top 9 blogs for mental health! Specifically, the Keepin’ it Real blog is their #2 top blog for people with depression. They even provided a badge for my website. How cool is that?! Now, I’ll admit that I hadn’t heard of the MyTherapy app, so I…
Photo by Daniel Monteiro on Unsplash I often think of myself as lazy. This is not at all helpful. Do you do the same thing? I know better; I know I’m not lazy. I have good days and bad days, like everyone else. Some days, I have more energy than others. But I judge myself harshly for not getting “enough” done most days. LAZY V. DEPRESSED For many people with depression, one of our biggest symptoms is low energy. You know, loss…
Happy 2019! 🙂 I don’t make resolutions, do you? Goals and plans change, so we have to be flexible. I figure, why attach myself to processes and outcomes when I know the road to get where I want to be will take multiple detours along the way? After all, we’re supposed to enjoy the journey, right? Don’t get me wrong – planning is good, as are goals and objectives. If you read my last post, you know that I have…
So, I haven’t written much in the last two months, and I wanted to let you know that I’m okay. Exhaustion has crept back into my daily life, which means that I’m too tired to write (I often go take a nap instead). Hell, sometimes, I’m too tired to feed the cats! (But I do – no cat goes hungry in this household.) Despite some rough patches, 2018 was a pretty decent year. Even Christmas wasn’t too stressful this year,…
Photo by Leti Kugler on Unsplash So I turned 50 a couple weeks ago. 🙂 I’ve been looking forward to it since my birthday last year. Who doesn’t want to be fifty and fabulous, right? LOL I had a good day, and that’s saying a lot. I woke up at seven thirty, had my coffee, checked my Facebook feed for some birthday lovin’, and settled in. I spent all day in my jammie bottoms and my favorite ratty t-shirt. Comfort personified! But…
Photo by Charles Deluvio 🇵🇭🇨🇦 on Unsplash Sleep and I have a long, sordid history. If you have depression, you know how important (and messed up) sleep can be. I think it’s ironic that one of the signs of depression is either a lack of sleep or sleeping too much, but there it is. I know that when I don’t get enough sleep, I get really cranky and irritable, I’m more likely to fly off the handle, and I’m more vulnerable to…
So I had a setback in my treatment last week. Monday evening, most of Tuesday, and all day Wednesday, I was very depressed again. That’s never happened to me during TMS before. In the past, once I start feeling good, I’m good for about six months. It was scary. I thought maybe this time, the TMS wouldn’t work. DEPRESSION BE GONE! Since then, my mood has been steadily improving, though it’s slow going. I’m still extra-sensitive to any kind of…
So, I just started week three of TMS today, and I have to say – I feel great! How often do you say that? “I feel great!” If you’re anything like me, it’s not very often. But I’m here to say that it is possible, even if you don’t think so yet. “SIGNIFICANTLY BETTER” I started feeling better after only four sessions; I had number 15 this morning. Last week, I felt pretty good, but today I’m noticing an even…
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash Hello, fellow Warriors! You might have noticed that I’ve been MIA the last couple weeks. That’s because my old nemesis, depression, has come for a visit and settled right in. In my last post, I said I was feeling better. That was true – I was no longer suicidal and thought I was headed back to feeling “normal” (whatever that is). Alas, it was not to be. I should have known, since I was so down before…
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always know what I’m feeling. And, as well-versed as I am with depression in general and my own experiences with it in particular, it can still sometimes sneak up on me. Well, it did. IT’S BAA-AAACK I noticed it four days ago, after my experience at the hospital. The day after, I felt okay for a while, but then I started feeling depressed. It wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t the most depressed…
Photo by Oliver Roos on Unsplash Well. The last 72 hours have been very interesting. If you read my last post, you know that I’ve been exhausted. And that can be a dangerous time for anyone dealing with a mental illness. Even though I write about depression, anxiety, and addiction (as well as life in general), and I sometimes have my shit together, I am not immune to emotional relapses. Nor am I immune to overwhelm, stress, or crises. In the last…
Several years ago, I went through about five years of fatigue that, it turned out, had no medical cause. I finally decided it was all about the stress. I made some changes, felt better, and life went on. Well, here I am again. For the last month or so, I have felt that same almost-debilitating level of fatigue, and again I attribute it to stress. WHAT’S GOING ON WITH ME? Oh, all kinds of things! Chief among them? I am…
So, September is World Suicide Prevention Month. Related hashtags have been all over my Twitter feed this month, especially a few days ago, as it was World Suicide Prevention Day. It’s hard to read a person’s personal experiences with suicidal thoughts and attempts, but it is something we cannot ignore. Ignorance – especially intentional ignorance – leads to neither understanding nor compassion. You know that I’ve struggled with suicidal ideation from time to time, which has resulted in over a…